Some people will tell you that failure is a good thing because that is how we learn.
I disagree.
A failure may well lead us towards learning something, but that does not mean that failure is how we learn, only that it is possible to fail and still learn something.
Think about it, what does a failure really teach you?
It teaches you that you did something wrong. How did knowing you did something wrong ever teach you how to do something right?
I know your thinking right now of a million examples, and your brains automatic response mechanisms are hard at work right now trying to prove me wrong. That is only natural, what I am saying goes against the commonly accepted truth.
I remember as a very young child having my mouth washed out with soap because I said a “bad” word. I don’t remember what that word was, why I said it, or to whom I said it to. I had certainly failed to do something, and in this case it was a failure to respect the linguistic limitations set by my father. But did I learn anything of value? Hardly. I learned nothing about language, how to use it, the effect of words on people, etc. Nothing. If anything at all, I may have learned to keep my mouth shut, but I don’t know, it was a long time ago, there are any number of factors that may have resulted in my shyness as a child.
Think about training a dog
If you are a dog lover then you know that training a puppy is one of the most rewarding and also trying experiences we can have.
You will also have discovered that negative re-enforcement is almost always completely ineffective when it comes to shaping a puppy’s behaviour. If a puppy does something wrong, such as peeing on the rug, or chewing your shoe, and you punish him for it, he does not learn not to pee on the rug or not to chew your shoes. He learns to pee on the rug in an area you won’t notice right away, and to make damn sure the next time he chews on a shoes that he eats it too in order to cover all traces of his indiscretion.
He hasn’t learned from his failure, he has learned to hide his failure.
We humans do the same thing.