Well, these past two years have been an insanely busy time. They’ve gone by so fast, it’s hard to believe it was two years. But it’s true, I started my broadcasting program in January of ’06, and now here I am in January ’08.
I feel a bit burnt out. When I was in school I had twenty hours a week of evening classes. I was working as a concrete finisher for most of that time, forty hours per week, and working at Petsmart (shudders) on the weekends. I’d get up at 4:30, drive an hour and a half to Burnaby, work until 3:30, drive to Vancouver, nap for an hour in my car and then go to school until 10:00. Then I’d drive home and get to bed at midnight and do it all again the next day. It’s no wonder I fell asleep at the wheel.
It’s been an emotional year too. So many ups and downs. Great highs of incredible happiness, and horrible lows and frustrated sadness. Mistakes that aren’t mistakes, and regrets I don’t regret, just the feelings that go with them. Wounds that heel, scars that don’t, and I am still melodramatic, though I think only when I write. Relationships breaking, and relatives passing away. I’ve learned a lot, and I still feel like I know nothing at all. I’ve loved, but I haven’t found love, and I don’t know what I’m looking for. Does anyone?
I want fame and fortune and excitement and recognition, and I want a quiet life and a family and good friends. Can a person have both? I want to be an actor, a novelist, a filmmaker and a photographer. I don’t think I really want to be a broadcaster, but I know I won’t hate it, and it does provide stable footing to do other things, right? I’d also like to be Prime Minister one day. I’d make a kick-ass Prime Minister.
The past few months haven’t been any less busy. I’ve been working fifty plus hours a week as a construction labourer to pay off my debt. I did it! Deprived myself a lot, but managed to pay of all my student loans, all my credit cards, and my car. More than thirteen thousand dollars paid off in under six months. What a relief, I feel like I own my life again. Now I can quite this job because, frankly, I don’t like it much. It’s been a blessing, and it was the right thing for the time, but it’s not me. So what to do now?
The sensible choice is to get a job in broadcasting. I wouldn’t hate it, but the pay would suck, and it would take a while to climb the ladder and have a real career. Still, I have to do it sometime.
I’m thinking though that maybe travel is the best option right now though. I need time to decompress, to relax, to get up every day just to experience life again. Where to go? A working holiday in the U.K. would be amazing I think, but then so would back-packing around the world (starting with Europe and Asia) with no plan and no schedule.
It’s time to get crazy.